I have been busy with life…too busy. Not saying no to things I could say no to, to things that are taking me away from time with God. Therefore, I am not surprised at my current state of irritability and discontent.
Life has a way of bulldozing me without me realizing it until I find myself face down, flattened to the concrete, hurting, cussing, and saying to myself, “I can’t believe I let this happen again!”
What next?
I asked God to peel me up from the pavement and tell me what to do. I opened my laptop to write this post and the words from a previous post sit in wait for me to see, at this very moment when I needed to see them, when I asked for guidance He used my own words to answer me:
The most effective way for me to find joy in everyday living is by working the 12 Steps. Following the suggestions outlined in these steps brings my will in line with God’s will without fail. The steps pave a path that leads me to the two reasons for which I believe that I exist:
1. To attain and maintain conscious contact with God
2. To be of service to others
Due to my choice to focus on things other than maintaining conscious contact with God and being of service to others, I find myself in emotional chaos. I have been focusing on maintaining contact with others in order to serve myself. My how easy it is for me to flip flop my priorities.
Time for me to slow down and regroup. Autopilot is no place for me to operate…it is a guaranteed crash and burn. I pray that God’s grace surrounds me like a protective shield, blinding me to the things my thoughts and actions have been foolishly chasing these past few days.
Do you ever find yourself feeling like this? If so, what do you do? Thanks for any insights you offer.
I do this a lot too! I find myself going in so many directions that burn out is always just around the corner. But you realize it, and that is the important thing. I was expecting my life to slow down, to become serene and tranquil with sobriety. Not so! In fact I think my life is more busy and chaotic than ever before. It's the season of life we are in. Small children, husband's, obligations, recovering, etc. but I finally realized one day that God had given me the serenity I had asked for. I was surviving, and I wasn't drinking. I was right in the middle of the hurricane and my soul was peaceful and I was making it. That is serenity, when the soul is peaceful even in the midst of chaos. You already know the answer: keep the foundation strong, and your "house" will not fall ;)
ReplyDeleteI do what I can with the goal for the day, not overloading myself with too much. I realize that First Things First is an important slogan. I realize that very few things are so important that they have to be done right now. I practice patience because in the past I have been impatient and good at multi-tasking. Now I realize that I need to practice self-care and not overload myself.
ReplyDeleteYes..I can definitely relate to this and I think you know what you need to do...I'm not an expert on sobriety. I have 73 days sober and I started a blog-www.countingdays.org...but what I also do is stay in gratitude. I'm really grateful today, and when I'm grateful, I'm less likely to be irritable because I'm more focused on being of service...and gratitude is an action word, by the way...fake it till you make it!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
www.countingdays.org
As they say, experiences are great teachers, sober living is good way to live the life and to revive one's lost life.
ReplyDeleteI had a friend who experienced and enjoyed sober living. I guess he went, for somewhere like, gooden center sober living, and there, he successfully revived himself.
ReplyDelete