The following excerpt from p. 46 in the Big Book says it all for me:
"we discovered we did not need to consider another’s conception of God. Our own conception, however inadequate,was sufficient to make the approach and to effect a contact with Him. As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction, provided we took other simple steps."
For me, this meant that I had to
1) Let go of every idea about God that I ever had.
2) Let go of everyone else's idea of God that I was exposed to.
3) Admit to the possibility of this power's existence only - not to what it is or isn't, but just to that it may or does exist.
4) Ask that power to reveal itself to me.
5) Continually work the 12 steps (so that I can perceive that power as it reveals itself to me and so that I can stay in contact with that power from then on.)
Beyond this I wonder if there is any other way to explain or describe my experience that would be of use to someone else. Would it be futile to share my concept of my higher power if my concept only works for me? Would it be a waste of time for anyone else to try and use my concept of my higher power for their concept of their higher power?
A definition of "concept" states:
"A general idea derived or inferred from specific instances or occurrences."
My concept of my higher power is based on my personal "instances and occurences", and I assume yours would be based off of your personal "instances and occurences", but I don't know. I know that I don't know. What I do suggest, however, especially if you are 1) new or 2) having difficulty connecting with your higher power is to drop all that you think that you know about this power, and then ask it to reveal (or re-reveal) itself to you.
And for goodness sakes, please make sure you are working the steps on a continuous basis. That is our part - our ONLY part; the steps are the "footwork." God takes care of the rest as it is stated in the continuation of the aforementioned excerpt:
"We found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men.”
How did I used seek this power? By working the rules of various churches, retreats, and revivals - all of which work for many people, I have no doubt - and by working my insane rules of getting my way (i.e., bargaining, begging, pleading, crying) which never lead me to finding God. For me and for most alcoholics I know, the only thing that enables us to find our higher power is the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.
So, if you are an alcoholic, I encourage you to seek your higher power by working ALL of the Steps because
"rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.......If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps."
Totally worth reading, especially your personal story about your concepts. :)
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