This weekend my daughter participated in a musical recital. She made a fairly large mistake in the middle of her performance and was quite upset about it afterwards. We praised her for keeping her composure and finishing her piece despite the lengthy error. We told her that it took much more courage and strength to keep going after making a mistake than if she would have performed perfectly. She seemed to understand this idea and I hope she gained a new sense of confidence in her character as a person as opposed to her abilities as a musician. I think the former will serve her better in life in the long run.
As usual, God parents me via the lessons I try to teach my children. As I wrote the above paragraph, I heard God saying, “Yes, Marie, instead of beating yourself up every time you make a mistake just keep going.” The shame, embarrassment, and self-hatred I used to feel after making a mistake would immobilize me like kryptonite would Superman. Of course these feelings came directly from my most glaring character defect: PRIDE (in the forms of perfectionism and fear of what others might think of me.)
Thanks to working the Steps of the program, particularly Steps 6 and 7, my pride, which used to be the size of a great white shark with the same ability to attack and kill, is--on most days--more like the size of a dolphin and likewise, can be tamed but is still a wild animal in its purest sense. Some day I hope my pride is the size of a tiny goldfish swimming humbly in a bowl of God's love, His Grace surrounding me always, breathing the peace and serenity of His presence in and out, in and out... Ahhh...
Until then, I suppose I will “just keep swimming, just keep swimming.” I hope that you keep swimming, too.
Dory: Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down do you wanna know what you've gotta do?Quote courtesy of The Internet Movie Database
Marlin: No I don't wanna know.
Dory: [singing] Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.
It sounds like a good plan to just keep swimming and putting one foot in front of the other on the path of recovery.
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