Tuesday, July 13, 2010

"There is a Solution"

I met some wonderful women at D.’s memorial service.  We spent a few hours visiting with one another and D.’s family and “normal” friends and then we went out to eat for dinner together.  The fellowship at dinner was more nourishing for my soul than the delicious food was for my body.  I love hanging out with women in recovery. We still know how to laugh, act silly, and have a good time!  I felt like I’ve known them all forever even though this was the first time we had met.

One of the greatest gifts of the program that I have received is the connection I feel with other women in recovery.  I no longer feel unique, alone, or different from everyone in the world.  These women are just like me and I like them.  I belong somewhere -at last!  What a blessing it is to be a part of a group of men and women who experience the same distorted thoughts, the same crazy chaos, and who also share the same solution found in working the 12 Steps.

I realized this past week that the people in recovery are my family.  Except for my husband and children, the rest of my relatives have become acquaintances.  My mind tells me that this is not the way it should be.  But, I am learning that my mind usually doesn’t know what it is talking about because it has a disease called alcoholism, which is a “cunning, baffling, and powerful” disease.  It will tell me anything to steer me away from the one thing that will keep me alive -- 12-Step programs.



  1. I know what you mean. I love hanging out with other alcoholic women. They just get you. We are such different creatures than men, with our own different set of alcoholism traits. Sometimes I feel like I have many families. My husband, children, parents, brothers, my work friends, and my AA brothers and sisters and then my friends. I at first thought this was overwhelming but now it's normal. My family loves and accepts me for who I am, my AA buds understand me, my work people offer support on a different level and my girlfriends remember me before AA. Yes, I've had to change some playground situations, my girlfriends meet every Tuesday at a trendy little place for drinks, they include me on the emails but I don't go, so they meet me for coffee instead. Things have changed but for the better, I consider all these different families just a part of my complex personality. My AA family is very special - like you said you finally belong. Have you read the book "Mommy doesn't Drink Here Anymore?" I read it right before I entered AA and I could relate to a lot of her thinking. Sorry to ramble....have a great day.

  2. you are so right in that relatives can somehow begin to be more like aquaintances, not even our blood connection to them is strength enough when you've needed more. more understanding...more accountability...more nurturing and listening. i, too, have friends that have become more to me than i ever imagined...they are companions on my journeys path...knowing me yet still loving me! it does my heart so much good to hear that you have found deep comfort in your friends as well!!

  3. I like the after meeting lunches and the late night ice cream for those of us in Al-Anon. We are a fellowship. It is a good thing.


Thank you for sharing!