Monday, July 5, 2010

One Day at a Time


I haven't been feeling well the last few days -sore throat, achy body, fatigue.  When I am physically sick, irritability and downright crabbiness fill my spirit.  Picking fights with my husband, avoiding demanding kids, and agonizing over the guilt that follows describes the self-inflicted prison in which I spent the 4th of July weekend.  While my family went off to a holiday get together, I spent last night home alone.  I rested in prayer and quiet listening which renewed my spirit (Step 11 at work.)

My sponsor reminded me today that we don't do well when physically ill.  Also, I know many alcoholics, like myself, that can handle a crisis with ease while the day to day events of normal life (whatever that is) can leave us feeling crazy.  I know the effects of my day to day happenings on my serenity are so subtle at times that I end up feeling "irritable and discontent" without knowing why.  How frustrating this is!  This disease is truly "cunning, baffling and powerful.". 

My sponsor assures me that continued work on the Steps of the program will fine tune my ability to maintain serenity in the midst of everyday life.  "It gets better," is her common response to my whiny complaints.  Thank God I believe her.  This faith in God and in the program gets me through another day -One Day at a Time.

"We are more likely to drink over a broken shoe lace than over the death of a loved one." - Anonymous recovered old timer 

4 comments:

  1. wow, marie, i can sure hear your heart on this one! i know it felt bad to miss the family celebration last night but i think that you were wise to pull back and do the needed soul searching that you did.
    at times i wonder if the family believes that you will be 'cured' one day and then their real life can begin. only thing is, there is no cure, only a day by day path that strives for God's help!
    i admire you deeply for being so honest here...for being unafraid of saying that you really had a bad day...days, or maybe even weeks but your sponsor is right-it does get better!!
    all the best to you, my dear friend :)

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  2. I hope that you feel better. I am not my best spiritually when I am sick.

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  3. Sheri - thanks for your kind and encouraging words, always.
    Syd - I knew you'd understand. Thanks.

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  4. i agree with Sheri, not anyone can pour their souls in their blogs like you do. the best thing is that you believe things will be better, and that's right. life is a chain of days, mostly, they are bad, but one the good ones come, they make up for everything.

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Thank you for sharing!