My Tuesday Hangover

Yesterday we spent the day with the kids out in 100 degree temperatures at a water park.  Everyone had a great time, however, I am paying for it today.  Fatigue, muscle aches, and joint pains kept me from doing anything today, except lay on the couch.  I knew before we left yesterday that I would probably feel like this today, but that knowledge didn't stop me from staying out in the heat too long, climbing hundreds of steps, bouncing off water slide after water slide, walking barefoot from ride to ride for seven hours straight and completely enjoying the day with my family. 


I used to drink knowing I would pay for it the next day.  But that knowledge never stopped me from staying up too late, drinking too many beers, glasses of wine, shots of whatever anyone was buying, and smoking too many cigarettes for eight hours straight and blacking out or, if I was lucky, passing out. 


The difference is I spent a day living life on life's terms yesterday rather than running away from reality via the bottle.  Today, I do not owe anyone an amends due to my actions yesterday.  I remember what happened yesterday.  I was fully present to give of myself in love and service yesterday.  I was able to play a role in a fun, healthy, positive family experience thanks to God and 12 step programs and the women in those programs who showed me by their words and actions how to be a responsible and loving member of recovery groups, member of my family, and member of society.  I am one of many - no longer trying "to struggle to the top of the heap or hide underneath it." (12 Steps and 12 Traditions of AA, page 53.)


Today, my greatest desire is to be in the "heap" where ever God wants me doing what ever He wants me to do even if it is merely laying on the couch and not feeling guilty for taking care of myself.