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Showing posts with label Grief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grief. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Friday, September 24, 2010
"Not my will but thine be done"
"Tomorrow morning," the surgeon began, "I'll open up your heart..."
"You'll find Jesus there," the boy interrupted..
The surgeon looked up, annoyed. "I'll cut your heart open," he continued, "to see how much damage has been done..."
"But when you open up my heart, you'll find Jesus in there," said the boy.
The surgeon looked to the parents, who sat quietly. "When I see how much damage has been done, I'll sew your heart and chest back up, and I'll plan what to do next."
"But you'll find Jesus in my heart. The Bible says He lives there. The hymns all say He lives there. You'll find Him in my heart."
The surgeon had had enough. "I'll tell you what I'll find in your heart. I'll find damaged muscle, low blood supply, and weakened vessels. And I'll find out if I can make you well."
"You'll find Jesus there, too. He lives there."
The surgeon left.
The surgeon sat in his office, recording his notes from the surgery, "....damaged aorta, damaged pulmonary vein, widespread muscle degeneration. No hope for transplant, no hope for cure. Therapy: painkillers and bed rest. Prognosis:" here he paused, "death within one year."
He stopped the recorder, but there was more to be said. "Why?" he asked aloud. "Why did You do this? You've put him here; You've put him in this pain; and You've cursed him to an early death. Why?"
The Lord answered and said, "The boy, my lamb, was not meant for your flock for long, for he is a part of My flock, and will forever be. Here, in My flock, he will feel no pain and will be comforted as you cannot imagine. His parents will one day join him here and they will know peace, and My flock will continue to grow.."
The surgeon's tears were hot, but his anger was hotter. "You created that boy and You created that heart. He'll be dead in months. Why?"
The Lord answered, "The boy, My lamb, shall return to My flock, for He has done his duty. I did not put My lamb with your flock to lose him, but to retrieve another lost lamb."
The surgeon, the lost lamb, wept...
The surgeon sat beside the boy's bed. The boy's parents sat across from him. The boy awoke and whispered, "Did you cut open my heart?"
"Yes," said the surgeon.
"What did you find?" asked the boy.
"I found Jesus there," said the surgeon.
Author
Unknown - Celebrate Jesus in 2010
"You'll find Jesus there," the boy interrupted..
The surgeon looked up, annoyed. "I'll cut your heart open," he continued, "to see how much damage has been done..."
"But when you open up my heart, you'll find Jesus in there," said the boy.
The surgeon looked to the parents, who sat quietly. "When I see how much damage has been done, I'll sew your heart and chest back up, and I'll plan what to do next."
"But you'll find Jesus in my heart. The Bible says He lives there. The hymns all say He lives there. You'll find Him in my heart."
The surgeon had had enough. "I'll tell you what I'll find in your heart. I'll find damaged muscle, low blood supply, and weakened vessels. And I'll find out if I can make you well."
"You'll find Jesus there, too. He lives there."
The surgeon left.
The surgeon sat in his office, recording his notes from the surgery, "....damaged aorta, damaged pulmonary vein, widespread muscle degeneration. No hope for transplant, no hope for cure. Therapy: painkillers and bed rest. Prognosis:" here he paused, "death within one year."
He stopped the recorder, but there was more to be said. "Why?" he asked aloud. "Why did You do this? You've put him here; You've put him in this pain; and You've cursed him to an early death. Why?"
The Lord answered and said, "The boy, my lamb, was not meant for your flock for long, for he is a part of My flock, and will forever be. Here, in My flock, he will feel no pain and will be comforted as you cannot imagine. His parents will one day join him here and they will know peace, and My flock will continue to grow.."
The surgeon's tears were hot, but his anger was hotter. "You created that boy and You created that heart. He'll be dead in months. Why?"
The Lord answered, "The boy, My lamb, shall return to My flock, for He has done his duty. I did not put My lamb with your flock to lose him, but to retrieve another lost lamb."
The surgeon, the lost lamb, wept...
The surgeon sat beside the boy's bed. The boy's parents sat across from him. The boy awoke and whispered, "Did you cut open my heart?"
"Yes," said the surgeon.
"What did you find?" asked the boy.
"I found Jesus there," said the surgeon.
Author
Unknown - Celebrate Jesus in 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
A Week of Virtues - Day 5 - Acceptance
Acceptance: acknowledging reality exactly as it is without attempting to change it to fit our needs or desires
I find that when coming to accept something, what I am really doing is grieving the loss of some false belief of mine. Acceptance is the fifth stage of grieving. I find that I must go through the first four stages before I reach acceptance of a situation, person, or truth in my life. I will use alcoholism as an example.
* My false belief is that I am a normal drinker.
Stage 1 - Denial
I'm not an alcoholic. I don't have a problem. I'm fine. There's nothing abnormal about me.
Stage 2 - Anger
Why me? I don't deserve this! I am pissed off that I am an alcoholic! It's not fair!
Stage 3 - Bargaining
Please, God, let me be able to drink like a normal person. I'll do anything if you just fix me so I can drink and be ok.
Stage 4 - Depression
Poor me! I am an alcoholic. My life is ruined. I'll never have any fun again. Why do these things always happen to me? I am a terrible person.
Stage 5 - Acceptance
I am an alcoholic and that is ok. I have a disease. I can admit that I have it, not be angry about it, not feel sorry for myself about it, but can realize the reality of it and live my life accordingly.
More on my story of acceptance can be found here.
Acceptance is the path to serenity for me. Practicing acceptance doesn't mean that I have to accept "unacceptable behavior," such as any type of abuse from others. While I can't change them, I can remove myself from them and their destructive behaviors. In this way I am accepting the reality of the way they are (i.e., abusive, unhealthy, etc.) and choosing not to be a part of it. In practicing acceptance, I must always keep in mind what I can and cannot change, which is why the Serenity Prayer is so powerful in my recovery today.
"Accepting does not necessarily mean 'liking,' 'enjoying,' or 'condoning.' I can accept what is—and be determined to evolve from there. It is not acceptance but denial that leaves me stuck." ~ Nathaniel Branden, American psychologist
I find that when coming to accept something, what I am really doing is grieving the loss of some false belief of mine. Acceptance is the fifth stage of grieving. I find that I must go through the first four stages before I reach acceptance of a situation, person, or truth in my life. I will use alcoholism as an example.
* My false belief is that I am a normal drinker.
Stage 1 - Denial
I'm not an alcoholic. I don't have a problem. I'm fine. There's nothing abnormal about me.
Stage 2 - Anger
Why me? I don't deserve this! I am pissed off that I am an alcoholic! It's not fair!
Stage 3 - Bargaining
Please, God, let me be able to drink like a normal person. I'll do anything if you just fix me so I can drink and be ok.
Stage 4 - Depression
Poor me! I am an alcoholic. My life is ruined. I'll never have any fun again. Why do these things always happen to me? I am a terrible person.
Stage 5 - Acceptance
I am an alcoholic and that is ok. I have a disease. I can admit that I have it, not be angry about it, not feel sorry for myself about it, but can realize the reality of it and live my life accordingly.
More on my story of acceptance can be found here.
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes. ~ Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
Acceptance is the path to serenity for me. Practicing acceptance doesn't mean that I have to accept "unacceptable behavior," such as any type of abuse from others. While I can't change them, I can remove myself from them and their destructive behaviors. In this way I am accepting the reality of the way they are (i.e., abusive, unhealthy, etc.) and choosing not to be a part of it. In practicing acceptance, I must always keep in mind what I can and cannot change, which is why the Serenity Prayer is so powerful in my recovery today.
God, grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Divinely Intertwined
Today I am going to a memorial service for my sponsor‘s sponsor and dear friend, D. D. was active in a 12-Step program for more than 30 years; a woman who lived the principle’s of the program through all of her life’s trials including cancer and the heart failure which took her life here on earth last week. She is survived by several children who are still active in their addictions, a father in the advance stages of Alzheimer’s and many, many people in recovery who were blessed to be a part of her life.
D. didn’t live around here, so I never got the pleasure of meeting her. I have never even talked to her or seen a picture of her. But, I feel like I know her from listening to my sponsor talk of her over the years as she passed along the strength and hope to me that she received from D.
That is how it works. We share our experience, strength, and hope with others who want what we have and then they share it with others and so on. In this way we are all connected. Connected by the perils of addiction and more importantly, by the solution we found in the 12-Steps.
My sponsor told me that other women whom D. sponsored are driving in from other parts of the country and bringing the women they sponsor, too. The women they sponsor have never met D. either. It is amazing to me that the connection we feel with others in recovery is so strong and alive that we will travel hundreds of miles to attend a memorial service of someone whom we have never met.
I believe this connection is the Divine, who intertwines itself across our lives pulling us all together during times like this. This thought leaves me with a grateful heart, one that I will take with me today in humble service and love and with a willingness to do the will of God.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Rock Bottom
Can you ever know the pain
Of a alcoholic man?
The torture that’s sustained?
No you never can
Unless you are another
Who has traveled down his path
And faced a demon’s brother
Alcohol’s full wrath
Drinks may come and go
Memories are left behind
Stuffed behind the door
In dark corners of your mind
Horrors pierce your thoughts
Blinding you with grief
Madness is being fought
And in drinking there’s no relief.
Written by Marie July 2004
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Sunday 160 entitled "Hope"
As gruesome as oil spilling into the sea is he who betrayed one for silver ten times three.
It seems,
from horrific means,
humanity gleans
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